Parenting 101- Teaching Good Behavior

Miss Manners

I have mulled over this topic for a long time because I find this is a very broad subject that ranges from tolerance vs acceptance to bullying, respect and manners. I think the best way to handle this subject is to break it up into several shorter articles.
So for my first installment, I want to discuss  modeling good behavior or teaching by example. This, in my opinion, is really the key to teaching kids how to be good people. The old adage "Do as I say not as I do," does not really work. Sure, we all have our moments and no parent is perfect, but you can't behave one way and think that magically your kids will behave any differently.
If you want your kids to have good manners such as saying please and thank you and holding the door for elders you need to use these behaviors as well. Of course you need to teach them what to do and remind them, but you must remember they are watching when you least expect it.
I remember years ago, a friend of mine told me how she was taken back when her then four-year-old corrected her for not being polite at the butcher shop. For her order she said "I would take four pork chops." Her son thought she was rude because at home he would have been required to say "May I have four pork chops, please?" This seems like such a little difference, and knowing my friend I'm sure she did not have a rude tone with the butcher, but her child picked up on it.
I also feel it's important to treat your kids with the same respect as you want them to treat you. This  statement can easily be misunderstood. I do not mean that children should be treated like friends; I am a strong believer that it is a parent's responsibility to teach and guide his or her child. However, children are people and all people deserve a certain amount of respect such as consideration of their feelings or fears, using manners when being talked to, being talked to not just talked at and being listened to. I do listen to my kids objections when they I give them orders, but it doesn't mean they get out of it. I often tell them "I'm sorry you feel that way, but it still needs to be done." (And yes, this is often followed by an ultimatum or incentive, however you want to look at it.) Yet other times their objections are due to a misunderstanding and once that is cleared they have no problem completing the task at hand.
I also feel that part of respecting your children and teaching them to be be better people is admitting fault and apologizing if need be. Years ago, this concept was considered taboo. There were two rules when it came to parent-child relations. Rule #1 the parent is always right. Rule #2 if the parent is wrong see rule #1. I feel, however, if you admit your mistakes to your kids it will teach them that no one is perfect and save them from a lot of undo stress. It is important though to teach them that it is also their responsibility o to fix what can be fixed in the situation and accept whatever consequences occur. (In other words, let them know apologizing is not always a free pass.)
Teaching by example is not something that stops when your kids leave the nest. I am an adult and a parent myself, yet I still learn from the examples my parents set everyday. They are very kind and giving and they are generous of their time, means and abilities. They never think twice about helping out someone in need and never expect the favor returned. This is the type of person I strive to be and I desire it for my children as well. My parents did not harp on me about this, it was just the way they were and continue to be. They did include me by having me and my siblings take things to neighbors or drive my grandmother to the store or a number of other things. It was not always what I would have chose to do at the time, but they went about it in such a way that I grew up thinking that this was the way everyone behaves and treats others. (I have since found out that is not always the case- but it should be.) There were some things that were required as a matter of politeness that I did not enjoy such as sending thank you notes, but I am the better for it. Now there are times I am sometimes given an odd look when I offer to help someone in need, especially if I do not know them well, but I really don't mind. I mean would you rather be considered that too helpful person or that rude one?

Awesome Crocs Sale through Zulily!

Crocs are a great summer shoe for kids and adults alike. Right now Zulily for as low as $12.99 thru Friday!

I love Crocs for my little ones because they slip on easily, can handle getting wet yet dry quickly and clean fairly nicely. (There's nothing easier then hosing them off they've been through a mud puddle.)

There is also a reason when you are in the hospital a good majority of the nurses are wearing them- they are super comfy and have great support. Whether you're a nurse, work in fast food or a mom on the go if you're on your feet all day is may be hard to find a more comfy shoe.

If you're new to Zulily.com they have great prices on designer kids clothes and gear. What makes this deal extra special it includes Crocs for women and men, too, not just kids.




Thanks Couponing to Disney !

Mommy Tip: Summer outing bag

Summer is definitely here and it is a great time of the year to go on spontaneous outings. However, every mom (and dad for that matter) knows once that first baby is born spontaneity seems to be the first thing that flies out the window. Even if your child doesn't have a rigorous schedule or is too old or a nap/feeding schedule packing everything you need for even a short day trip can cut the down on the fun-time. So my suggestion is to have a day-trip bag ready to go. If you already carry a diaper bag, you can either update it with these important summer items or have a separate bag with seasonal items so your diaper bag isn't too big or heavy. The summer bag should be kept either in an area to grab easily or in the family car.

Here are the items that should be kept in the bag:

• Sunscreen
• Bug spray/citronella/ or listerine in a spray bottle (in other words something for bugs that you are comfortable using)
• Sun hats (or hats with a brim) for each member of the family. This is especially important for babies who cannot use sunscreen yet or anyone with thin or little hair.
• Antibacterial hand gel
• Antibacterial wipes (such as Wet Ones Antibacterial) baby wipes aren't necessarily antibacterial plus these types of wipes don't tend to sting as badly as first aide antibacterial wipes if you need to clean out a scraped knee or elbow until you can get to soap and water)
• Small First Aide kit containing:

• band-aides (various sizes)
• an antibiotic ointment or spray (such as neosporin)
• cotton balls
• tweezers
• medical tape
• eye drops or eye wash
• benedryl cream and/ or tablets or liquid (depending on your family's needs)

Other things you may want to have in your bag:

• spare clothes for at least the kids if not everyone
• bathing suits
• nonperishable (or long non-refrigerated) snacks (such as jerky, fruit leather/fruit snacks/chews, granola bars, crackers, nuts/trail mix make sure all is age appropriate for your kids)
• empty sippy cup or bottle (if age appropriate)
• packets of water flavor or enchancers (such as mio, crystal light, kool-aide, propel, etc.)

You want to keep some of these items in a special spot your fridge or kitchen hand have a small portable cooler accessible if you will out long or to save money on stopping for drinks to keep your family hydrated.

• water bottles (or refillable water bottles)
• fruit such as apples, oranges and grapes
• other drinks such as juice boxes or soda (IF you normally drink them)

Here are some things you may want to keep in your car trunk so you are always prepared:

• A throw blanket or vinyl table cloth (For some of the many uses for the blanket click here)
• an umbrella or rain ponchos
• plastic grocery bags (for garbage, wet clothes, stinky diapers or countless other uses)
• An old towel or two (you just never know how useful it may prove)
• paper towels and/or facial tissues 

My grandparents were sticklers for hand washing. They lived before antibacterial hand gel and wipes and I'm pretty sure liquid hand soap was invented once they were pretty old. So, they always kept in the trunk of their car an empty milk jug filled with tap water, a nylon stocking with a bar of soap tied inside and a roll of paper towels. That way if your only bathroom was an outhouse, you were going to eat a picnic, pic berries or if you just wanted to clean up you could. 

Keep your summer skeeter free

Summer is right around the corner and unfortunately those pesky mosquitos are already here. There are few simply tricks to keep those nasty bloodsuckers at bay. Mosquitos breed in damp places and standing water so scour your yard and porch for places that collect water like buckets, wheelbarrows and garbage cans and either store them upside down or add drainage holes if possible. If your landscaping includes water features that do not have plants or fish in them adding chlorine bleach will keep the mosquitos away and it is much cheaper than pool chlorine. (Check with a garden center or pet shop before adding any chemicals to a pond or water feature that contains live plants, fish or reptiles.) This works great for small kiddy pools too. Just dump in some bleach when your kids are done playing for the evening. It is still a good idea to change the water every week or two as needed.
Once the breeding areas have been gotten rid of you need to keep other skeeters from flying into your yard. The safest and most effective way that I have discovered is spraying around entrance doors, the patio and play area with Listerine. Yes, Listerine, the mouthwash. Last summer I wrote an article about it and how I discovered it and I planned on linking you to it. However, in one of my redesigns I deleted the page and apparently did not save a copy or at least not in a place where I can find it. So, I will give a brief overview.
I received a forwarded email a few years ago that claimed if you spray Listerine outside around doors (avoid directly spraying on woodwork) and around areas like your patio and swing set the mosquitos will stay away. I tried it without telling my skeptical husband and he noticed the difference. You do need to repeat about once a week or so or after a rain, but it does work. Although I do not notice the mosquitos fly immediately away, like the email claimed but I do notice they do leave and do not come back if I keep it sprayed. I have used a generic brand and it works just as well and either are much cheaper than using bug spray (for the same coverage) and I don't worry about my kids or pets breathing in a little mouthwash. As far as I know it hasn't caused any of the scary side effects that deet (a chemical in many commercial mosquito sprays) does.
If you still get bit before you scratch and tear the skin open, wet the bite and sprinkle with salt and let dry then brush off. As long as the skin is not open it will not hurt or sting. Or apply a baking soda paste to the bite and let dry. These will help draw the venom out and therefore reduce the itching. For bee stings applying a baking soda paste or tenderizing salt (applied like regular salt as described for mosquito bites) will help draw out the venom and speed healing times.