Parenting 101- Teaching Good Behavior

Miss Manners

I have mulled over this topic for a long time because I find this is a very broad subject that ranges from tolerance vs acceptance to bullying, respect and manners. I think the best way to handle this subject is to break it up into several shorter articles.
So for my first installment, I want to discuss  modeling good behavior or teaching by example. This, in my opinion, is really the key to teaching kids how to be good people. The old adage "Do as I say not as I do," does not really work. Sure, we all have our moments and no parent is perfect, but you can't behave one way and think that magically your kids will behave any differently.
If you want your kids to have good manners such as saying please and thank you and holding the door for elders you need to use these behaviors as well. Of course you need to teach them what to do and remind them, but you must remember they are watching when you least expect it.
I remember years ago, a friend of mine told me how she was taken back when her then four-year-old corrected her for not being polite at the butcher shop. For her order she said "I would take four pork chops." Her son thought she was rude because at home he would have been required to say "May I have four pork chops, please?" This seems like such a little difference, and knowing my friend I'm sure she did not have a rude tone with the butcher, but her child picked up on it.
I also feel it's important to treat your kids with the same respect as you want them to treat you. This  statement can easily be misunderstood. I do not mean that children should be treated like friends; I am a strong believer that it is a parent's responsibility to teach and guide his or her child. However, children are people and all people deserve a certain amount of respect such as consideration of their feelings or fears, using manners when being talked to, being talked to not just talked at and being listened to. I do listen to my kids objections when they I give them orders, but it doesn't mean they get out of it. I often tell them "I'm sorry you feel that way, but it still needs to be done." (And yes, this is often followed by an ultimatum or incentive, however you want to look at it.) Yet other times their objections are due to a misunderstanding and once that is cleared they have no problem completing the task at hand.
I also feel that part of respecting your children and teaching them to be be better people is admitting fault and apologizing if need be. Years ago, this concept was considered taboo. There were two rules when it came to parent-child relations. Rule #1 the parent is always right. Rule #2 if the parent is wrong see rule #1. I feel, however, if you admit your mistakes to your kids it will teach them that no one is perfect and save them from a lot of undo stress. It is important though to teach them that it is also their responsibility o to fix what can be fixed in the situation and accept whatever consequences occur. (In other words, let them know apologizing is not always a free pass.)
Teaching by example is not something that stops when your kids leave the nest. I am an adult and a parent myself, yet I still learn from the examples my parents set everyday. They are very kind and giving and they are generous of their time, means and abilities. They never think twice about helping out someone in need and never expect the favor returned. This is the type of person I strive to be and I desire it for my children as well. My parents did not harp on me about this, it was just the way they were and continue to be. They did include me by having me and my siblings take things to neighbors or drive my grandmother to the store or a number of other things. It was not always what I would have chose to do at the time, but they went about it in such a way that I grew up thinking that this was the way everyone behaves and treats others. (I have since found out that is not always the case- but it should be.) There were some things that were required as a matter of politeness that I did not enjoy such as sending thank you notes, but I am the better for it. Now there are times I am sometimes given an odd look when I offer to help someone in need, especially if I do not know them well, but I really don't mind. I mean would you rather be considered that too helpful person or that rude one?

Websites I Recently Discovered

Stumble Upon

Stumble Upon is a site I was introduced to by my husband who learned about it from our nephew. It's a website in which you let them know your interests (check boxes next to all kinds of categories) and then it suggests sites for you. You can then give the sites thumbs up or down so it can learn your preferences and suggest more accurate sites. They also make it easy to share your discoveries through several social networking sites. There is also an android app to can download for free and link to your computer account so it has your preferences in it already. 

Check out Stumble Upon by clicking this link.

Life Tips

Life Tips is a site I found through stumbleupon.com. It led me to the cooking measurements and equivalents page. That in itself was pretty cool. It didn't have too many of the normal equivalents like the numbers of cups in a pint, but it did have some helpful info such as how many cups of sugar equal a pound, or how many mini marshmallows is the equivalent to one large marshmallow. When I further explored the site I discovered that this was just the top of the iceberg. Life Tips has TONS of subjects to find more information about and each of those subject also has several sub-categories, so can finds on just about anything. Also, if you are a writer they have writer's program (they call them Gurus.) However, I have not checked out the program thoroughly nor do I have any experience with it so I do not know if they are legit or follow though with their promises. From what I have discovered you will not get paid until you submit 101 tips to the category you have chosen. Once they have your 101 tips they will publish them into a print edition book. You get 10 complimentary copies of the book plus 20% of the sales of the book and another 5% of the sales will get donated to the charity of your choice.  For more info about Lifetips.com click the link.

My Fridge Food
I have seen programs and widgets for helping you figure out what you have can actually cook with what food you have on hand, but myfridgefood.com is by far the best I've discovered thus far. You start by checking boxes in their fairly detailed list of food and beverages you have in your house. If you log on, your list will be saved, but even if you don't log on you can have a list of recipes generated. Next to each recipe it will give you the percentage of ingredients you already have. If you do not have 100 percent of the ingredients needed for a recipe it will tell you are missing. I just discovered this site, but I plan on using it to help me come up with my meal plans and menus since it really seems to fit the way I shop. I keep an inventory of items I like to have in stock, what I am out of  or running run of I add to my grocery list then I also add other ingredients to specific meals to my list. There is also a grocery list tab in which you can create your grocery list, but I have not tried it yet. If your tired of trying to figure out what to make for dinner check out My Fridge Food by clicking the link.

Dornob - Design Ideas Daily

If you're looking for design ideas dornob.com is the place to check out. They have so many idea galleries it is unbelievable. The main categories are Architecture, Interiors, Furniture, Furnishings, Fixture and More. (More includes sub categories such as DIY, Fashion & Style and Photography). Due to the vast amount of info and the vast categories dornob is difficult to describe. However, if you have even the slightest interest in design or art it is definitely worth checking it out and you can do so by clicking here.

The above described websites are those I discovered on my own or by word of mouth through family or friends. I have not been offered or given compensation of any kind by the above mentioned websites or anyone else for reviewing the sites. The opinions expressed are my own and are influenced only by my experience at the sites. Although I am not against compensation, and may eventually receive some,  I have not received any for writing this article. For more of my legal jargon and info check my disclosure page.